Struggling to stay afloat amidst the pain of the past and the chaos of the present, yet still I have peace that God is here, holding me, preserving me, helping me through all that is going on in my life right now.
Have you ever felt that you have just been through so much and all you can do is ask the Lord why? What good is it producing? What do you want me to do Lord? Or have you ever thought you just can’t take it anymore? Felt like you would rather just lie down and be done with the world? I think, I can safely say, you are not alone! I have been there, even to this day, struggle from time to time with what I feel is so overwhelming and unfair. I can look at my past and wonder why, but God gently reminds me that He knows why He allowed things to happen and is working it all for good, if I only let Him have the reigns. If I will quit asking why and ask Him instead what He wants me to learn from it, then I will benefit so much more, as will the body of Christ, my brothers and sisters!
God has designed each one of us to endure hardship, chaos, and tribulation. He has provided us with all the strength, endurance, wisdom, and discernment we need to make it through this life. He is constantly building us into a beacon that shines for Him, growing us more and more into the image of His Son Jesus Christ. Ah, to be like Christ! I wonder what my life would look like if I could so fully trust in God as Jesus did. I wonder how my heart and mind would feel if there was complete trust that God really does have it all planned out. I wonder if this raggedy old shell of a body would worry or doubt. I have so far to come, but I rest in knowledge that through each trial, from the past to the future, I am becoming more and more a true masterpiece in the Potter’s hand. God is molding me, shaping me, refining me to be all I can be. He is using my past hurts to bring future glory to His kingdom. He is using my own sinfulness to renew others and bring hope to desperate lives. He is using me in ways I will never understand; I just have to trust…according to His word!
May you trust in the LORD no matter what you face. May you hold tight to His word and allow Him to work beauty into the ugliness of life. May He bring light into the darkness of your heart, mind and soul, filling you with joy, peace, and comfort. I pray you reach out to Him in your time of need and find that He will indeed preserve your life.
All my love and blessings.
I have suffered much; preserve my life, O LORD, according to your word. –Psalm 119:107
Floodgates of My Heart
Everyone has a past
Times that haunt
Memories that taunt
Tearing our hearts apart
Conflict so strong
Believe the lies
Run and hide
Or let truth fill your mind
Floodgates of darkness
Destroying beauty from within
Is this all
Drowning in satan’s sea
Numbing the life God gave me
More to this life there must be
Remind me of truth
Pure and righteous through God’s Son
Knowing He is the only One
Bring me back to innocence long gone
Heal the pain is my prayer
Come dear Lord and live in me
Reach into my heart and set me free
In your grace is where I want to be
You are the ultimate release
No other love can help me live
Fill me with all the peace only You can give
Do not let the sins of the past relive