Life reflects a most spectacular journey, one that creates memories that linger in the files of our minds. Like all file cabinets, my mind has files that are filled with memories I want to hold onto forever and relive over and over and then there are the files I wish I could delete with the press of a button…as if they never occurred or had time to sear their disturbing images into my mind. Ah, but that is life. A journey in which we fill our hearts and mind with the good, the bad, the beautiful, and the ugly. Each experience is allowed into our lives by God Himself to enable us to grow, to become strong, and to be molded into His image. It is our memories that make us who we are, build our character, and increase our ability to endure and adapt to future events that befall us. Though God desires that no harm come to His children, sin serves us otherwise.
I struggle to find a balance sometimes between the good and the bad, knowing satan has a hand on always making sure the bad memories, the disturbing patterns, the desperate coping mechanisms, and the frighteningly evil images surface once in a while. A test to build endurance and perseverance? A trial to bring strength and wisdom? An opportunity to draw closer to God and refocus, or renew and transform, my mind yet again from the wicked and twisted ways of the world to conform more to God’s ways? Whatever reason God allows satan to bring these destructive memories to mind is unbeknownst to me, and though I trust my Lord and Savior with all that I am, with every fiber of my being….the struggle is real. The struggle is draining. The struggle is indeed a battle for my heart and soul and this is one which I cannot fight alone!
We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God,
and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 11:3
Deceived
January 5, 2013
Oh God you love me so
You build me up
You never let me go
You want only good in my life
Seeking to bring no harm
You help me through the strife
My mind it deceives
Plays tricks on my heart
Spirit and flesh at war
Paying the price from the start
Satan tugs and nudges
Ever so slyly he worms in
Seeking to devour the good
Bringing pain amidst the sin
Pray though I might
Worship and praise as I may
The thoughts still echo
Attempting to keep You at bay
I will hold tight to Your hand
Doing my best in this weak flesh
To fight, to take a stand
Search me Lord, seek and find
Take captive these wicked thoughts
Cleanse my heart and mind
