Life reflects a most spectacular journey, one that creates memories that linger in the files of our minds.  Like all file cabinets, my mind has files that are filled with memories I want to hold onto forever and relive over and over and then there are the files I wish I could delete with the press of a button…as if they never occurred or had time to sear their disturbing images into my mind.   Ah, but that is life.   A journey in which we fill our hearts and mind with the good, the bad, the beautiful, and the ugly.  Each experience is allowed into our lives by God Himself to enable us to grow, to become strong, and to be molded into His image.  It is our memories that make us who we are, build our character, and increase our ability to endure and adapt to future events that befall us.  Though God desires that no harm come to His children, sin serves us otherwise.

I struggle to find a balance sometimes between the good and the bad, knowing satan has a hand on always making sure the bad memories, the disturbing patterns, the desperate coping mechanisms, and the frighteningly evil images surface once in a while.   A test to build endurance and perseverance?  A trial to bring strength and wisdom?  An opportunity to draw closer to God and refocus, or renew and transform, my mind yet again from the wicked and twisted ways of the world to conform more to God’s ways?  Whatever reason God allows satan to bring these destructive memories to mind is unbeknownst to me, and though I trust my Lord and Savior with all that I am, with every fiber of my being….the struggle is real.  The struggle is draining.  The struggle is indeed a battle for my heart and soul and this is one which I cannot fight alone!

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God,

and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 11:3


January 5, 2013

Oh God you love me so

You build me up

You never let me go

You want only good in my life

Seeking to bring no harm

You help me through the strife

My mind it deceives

Plays tricks on my heart

Spirit and flesh at war

Paying the price from the start

Satan tugs and nudges

Ever so slyly he worms in

Seeking to devour the good

Bringing pain amidst the sin

Pray though I might

Worship and praise as I may

The thoughts still echo

Attempting to keep You at bay

I will hold tight to Your hand

Doing my best in this weak flesh

To fight, to take a stand

Search me Lord, seek and find

Take captive these wicked thoughts

Cleanse my heart and mind

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