Archive | April 2013

On Purpose for a Purpose

On this journey to discovering who I am as a woman of God, I am coming to realize the beauty and strength that comes with being God’s creation.  Yes, I struggle!  Yes, I have doubts, fears, and conflicts about my self-image and I battle internally to stay focused on who I am and why I walk this earth, but I stay within the loving arms of my Father in Heaven no matter what.   The flesh is weak and scarred, but the spirit is strong and connected.

God led me to Ephesians 2:10 and reminded me that I am created on purpose, before the world began to do works for God.  In Ephesians 1:4, God revealed to me that I was created to bring Him praise and glory; to walk in accordance to His pleasure and will.  I am a walking, talking reflection of God; an image of Christ here on this earth to bring His light, His hope, His future, His glory into the lives of all I meet.

Despite my doubt, my struggles, and my constant battle of the heart and mind……I am a Woman of God!

May you find peace amidst the doubt, power amidst the struggles, and may you always put on the armor of God to be ready for the battles you WILL definitively face!  God bless and keep you! ❤

woman of God 6

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. –Eph 2:10

On Purpose for a Purpose

I am a woman of God
Submitting to the authority of the Mighty Creator
Living an authentic life
With suffering and faith intertwined
I was created on purpose for a purpose
To be light and salt
Glorifying the Lord in deed and in word
I am God’s workmanship
More valuable than gold
Of more worth than precious gemstones
My days were ordained before my existence
I am a living temple
A sanctuary of God’s grace and love
As I walk with Him
I am enlightened and transformed
Becoming the woman of original design
Created to bring pleasure and praise to my God
An example of longsuffering
A real woman of flesh and feelings
Following in the path of Christ
Part of a blessed inheritance in the Kingdom of God
A vessel for spiritual gifts
An instrument for peace and forgiveness
Predestined to walk this earth
To put my hope in Christ
Bringing the praise of His glory to all I meet
I am a Woman of GOD!

Believe it, Own it, Live it — Woman of God!

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.
–1 John 3:1-2

woman of God 5

Believe it, Own it, Live it

Do you know who you are, woman of God?

You doubt, you fear, you feel alone
You have emotions and feelings that battle within
You are human, a part of this world
There are scars, there is pain
You fight the worldly views and voices
You struggle to rise above the reflections in others eyes

Who are you really?

You are different, you are unique
Seeing the beauty and goodness within is hard
Believing it even harder

Do you know your worth woman of God?

Do you see your beauty through the Creators eyes?

Listening to the world brings confusion
You have thoughts that you are not good enough
Mindless swirls echoing you are unworthy
Lies whispering that you do not deserve good

Who are you woman of God?

Can you see yourself dear child of God?

You are righteous, you are holy, you are strong
You are filled with dignity and the character of Christ

Are you perfect?
Surely not!

In this vast sea of life perfection is never found
Yet on the shores of heaven you are everything wonderful
You are beautiful
Glowing with the glory of God
Faith is your sail
Hope is you anchor
Christ is your compass, the light that shines from within
You are virtuous even when the world does not understand
You bring good to the lives of others
Hospitably giving of you and all you have

You are a Woman of God!

A glorious, holy, and beautiful woman of God
Own it, believe it, live it
Know you are a Woman of God

Continued Series:
Woman of God: Introduction and Question
Woman of God???
Worldly Perceptions–Woman of God

Worldly Perceptions — Woman of God

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” –1 Samuel 16:7

Worldly Perceptions
April 20, 2013

perception 3
Who are you woman of God?
Defined by so many who know me not
Struggling to find the real me
Without reflecting through others eyes
I am a teacher leading the way
Instructing little minds in the ways of the world
I am a colleague constantly going here and there
Supporting coworkers as best I can
I am a daughter regarded so highly
With lost emotions and insecurity to spare
I am an artist relaying life in words and pictures
Bringing beauty to the ordinary
I am a musician praising the Lord with my voice
Singing praises to His glorious name
I am a helper always lending a hand
Attempting to make light the heavy load
I am an aunt admired for what I have achieved
Yet wanting to do so much more
I am a friend willing to be there
Listening and helping those I love
I am a mother trying to navigate a deceptive world
Striving to show my child the narrow way
I am a leader others seek advice from
Feeling ill equipped in my own sinfulness to show God’s light
Without the title who are you?
Where will you find yourself woman of God?

Continued Series:
Woman of God: Introduction and Question
Woman of God???
Believe it, Own it, Live it–Woman of God

Woman of God??

Answer me quickly, LORD; my spirit fails.

Do not hide your face from me or I will be like those who go down to the pit. –Psalm 143:7

woman struggle

Woman of God?

Woman of God
Who are you? What are you?
Charming?
Beautiful?
These things will fade
Shift with the winds of time
Are you honored at the gates of the city?
Praised by your children?
Is the fear of God within?
Can you laugh at all that you face?
The good and the bad
Do you speak wisdom and instruction through the Lord?
Are you vigorously seeking to bring good to all around you?
When others look upon you what do they see?
A woman of God?

Continued Series:

Woman of God: Introduction
Worldly Perceptions–Woman of God
Believe it, Own it, Live it–Woman of God

Woman of God: Introduction and Question

Do you ever struggle to know who you are amidst the world and its perceptions of you? Do you ever feel unloved, unwanted, or insecure? Do you find yourself looking in the mirror and wondering who the reflection is that stares back at you? I do!

One would think, as a Christian woman, I would be secure and safe in the knowledge that I am a daughter of God. Well, this great big world and all of its voices have a way of beating me down, telling me I am unworthy, undesirable, and never good enough! In my soul, deep within, I know who I am in God, and yet I still struggle every day!! Am I a good mom? What have I done or not done to merit the way I get treated? Will I be a good wife? I have messed up already so am I really ready to try again…better yet do I deserve to be loved in the way I desire? Will I ever be good enough? Can I ever be happy with who I am? Or will I constantly struggle until the days I sit at the feet of God in the heavens above, when my eyes will be opened to what my soul already knows is true?

So frequently, I allow the world to define me and tell me who it is I see in the mirror. Oh, how much power I give to others and to the world; to satan and his wicked whispers in my ear that I am unworthy! How often I allow the negative thoughts to triumph, or buy into the lies that I am not pretty enough, not strong enough, not……you fill in the blank! The battle indeed is every day, practically every hour, unless my day is so busy I have no time to think.  Hmmm. Perhaps that is why I stay so busy; why I keep my days so full? Do I always find things to do so that I don’t have to confront the battle of my mind? It makes sense.

Anyway, enough of my endless rambling. As I have struggled with this, even more so over the last few days, the Lord has led me to search “Woman of God”. The Proverbs woman is more than I can handle at the moment–in her beauty, her perfection in how she manages and cares for her home, in the honor and respect she has earned from her husband and children. I was overwhelmed and yet inspired. She is a vision of perfection I have not yet encountered in this world and feel I will never achieve. Yet, somehow, she inspires me. She, the Proverbs woman, challenges me.

We shall see where Lord takes me on this journey to believe and see myself as I truly am—a daughter of the righteous King! May you find your way as well, and know that even when the flesh feels one way, when the desires of this world overwhelm, the spirit will still lead and strengthen you, bringing a deep sense of peace amidst the shallow and insecure human, fleshly thoughts.

Thanks Lord for the Journey! May you always be with me, showing me the way, being the captain of my ship.

Continued series:
Woman of God???
Worldly Perceptions–Woman of God
Believe it, Own it, Live it–Woman of God

From this World to Glory

Oh, how I long for the days when my son shared everything with me! The times when he would tell me he had to talk to me, but that he didn’t want me to get mad at him and despite his fear, he talked with me anyway. You see, we created a ‘safe zone’ where he could share anything with me without fear of a mom’s wrath coming down on him…we called it our ‘safe zone’. All it consisted of was a particular spot in the living room and the words, “I want to talk in the safe zone.” That meant he could speak and all I could do was listen. NO advice, NO retort, NO reprimand…just listen. I had to wait at least 24 hours before the subject could be brought up again. This allowed him time to speak and get everything off his chest and gave me time to cool down and think about a response that could help him rather than make the situation or his feelings worse. It really was a win win situation.

However, somewhere along the way, as he entered the alien stage of development called teenager, I lost that connection. I don’t know where it went, why it got lost, or what happened that severed the connection. I know he wants more independence, believe me I get it! I know he is stretching his wings and doesn’t want his mom to stifle that, but I miss the connection so deeply it hurts at times. The moments where he just answers yes or no, and ends it there, just frustrate me. I don’t want every detail of his life, I just want to know how things are going and still be a part of his life.

I remember when he was just a young thing about 8 years old and he would tell me how rude and mean teenagers are, and then proceed to tell me he would never be that way! I tried to get that in writing, but that never happened! Now, he argues with me for no apparent reason. He doesn’t do what I ask without several prompts and then proceeds to bite my head off saying I am bugging him about it, when actually if he would have done it the first time, I wouldn’t have to “bug” him about it. Oh my goodness!!! Being a teacher with a minor in child development, I knew this stage would come, but for some crazy reason, I felt my kiddo would be different. He would learn from those around him, like I did. Being the youngest of 4 helped me realize what not to do around our house. He is the oldest, but has grown up with kids older and younger than him since the day he was born. One would think he would have picked up a few cues on what not to do.

I suppose in reality, I know he is becoming a man and my biggest problem is not that he argues or gives me a hard time sometimes. As I have been praying and wondering what to do to help him, it is abundantly clear that my hurt is due more in part to the fact that I feel like somehow I have failed to teach him the beauty of God. I watch him struggle to find his identity in Christ and wonder why it is such a struggle. Did I not teach him well? Did I not lead by example enough? Did I not read or dissect scripture with him enough? Did I not pray with him enough? I have so many questions about what I should or should not have done, and right now, such a broken heart.

I know everyone, my son included, has to make their own mistakes, find their own path. I just weep at the thought that he feels so disconnected from me, from God. He has moments where I jump up and down for joy because he sees the glory of God around him in some way, shape or form, and then there are other times I fear for his future salvation as he speaks about things of this world and acts in such a way that is so opposing to God’s way.

As I was reading through my study this morning, a scripture really stood out to me. After Jesus was discussing with the disciples about his leaving to go to the Father in heaven and the Holy Spirit coming to them in John 16, John 17:1 states, ‘he looked toward heaven and prayed: ‘Father, the hour has come. Glorify you Son, that your Son may glorify you.’” When I looked up glorify in the dictionary, glorify means to cause to be or treat as being more splendid, excellent than would normally be considered, to honor with praise, admiration, or worship, to make glorious. When something is glorified, it becomes set apart from others. When I glorify God, I praise him, magnifying his name and his way in my life. When I glorify God, his light shines through me and my life. The good, the bad, and the ugly, can all be used to show the world who God is! How marvelous that when we glorify God, he glorifies us through his holiness, righteousness, and beauty!!

As I took the day to ponder this, two thoughts came to mind. First, my son has to accept that the Lord wants to glorify him, that he is worthy of God choosing him, an ordinary young man with sin in his heart, to do big and wondrous things for God’s kingdom. Second, I need to glorify my son. And no, I don’t mean worship him. I mean, I need to show him who he is in the eyes of God. He has heard the Bible stories. He has read and memorized the study verses. He has watched Veggie Tales, the Passion of the Christ, and the Nativity. He has been taught the true meaning of Christmas and Easter. He has been attending church since he was 2 years old and involved in youth group. He has done all those outwardly things to “show” he is a Christian, to help himself believe he is a Christian. NOW it is time for him to inwardly know he is a Christian and choose that path on his own. I need to glorify him in the sense that I remind him how special he is in the eyes of Christ, that he is chosen, set apart to do splendid works, that he is a son of God! I need to embellish his heart with the adornment of God’s love and grace. I need to continue to unveil his eyes to see the truth of God’s mercy and forgiveness.

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it—Proverbs 22:6

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord—Ephesians 6:4

Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them—Deuteronomy 4:9

Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up—Deuteronomy 11:19

God has gently reminded me to challenge my son, to continue to teach him, to continue to bring him up in the word and the ways of God, so that he will have that firm foundation to return to when he is lost in the world of chaos and things! Now, all I have to do is trust that the seeds I and fellow Christian brothers and sisters in Christ plant will continue to be nurtured and grow to bloom in his heart, building a future in God that will bring glory to his life and his family to come.

May you trust that God has you, even when you doubt. May you know with a dedicated heart that the seeds planted will grow to produce fruit when they are planted in God’s name. May you hold to the truth that God is in control and all things will work to the good for those who love him and are called according to his purpose.
All my love and as I pray for you, please pray for me!!

child bible 2

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it—Proverbs 22:6

From this World to Glory
April 15, 2013

Oh my son
My beautiful, wondrous son
You have grown so much
Becoming the man God created
May you know your worth
Feel God’s love for you
Know that you are forgiven and free
Deny the voices of evil
Lies whispered in your ear
Ignore the thoughts that you’re not good enough
The world will beckon the doors of your heart
Tempt you with things
Bringing only momentary happiness
Taste and drink from the Lord
He will fill you to overflowing
Bring you comfort, joy, peace
His mercy is never-ending
He knows your comings and your goings
He thinks of you more than the grains of sand on earth
He knows every hair on your head
You my son are the apple of his eye
Let not the world deceive you
Do not succumb to its wicked ways
Trust your life to Jesus
Listen to the still small voice
Believe there is more to this life than things
Seek the eternal prize
The gift freely given from such great sacrifice
Salvation and freedom from the bonds of this world
Hope for a future filled with glory
I love you my son
Hold on and fight the good fight
When the world is dark and in despair
Know that God will hold you
He will guide you on the path of righteousness
No matter how far you may stray
He will always be there
With open arms and an overjoyed heart
His love never ends
Your rock and fortress he will be
A shelter from the insanity of life
Walk in his ways my son
You are robed in righteousness
Veiled in holiness
You my child are adorned with gifts yet unknown
Blessed beyond compare
Let God bring glory through you
Be an instrument in his hands
A light unto the world