Merely Existent

Have you ever encountered a time in your life, be it a day, a week, a month, or years, where it just seemed that there was no hope? Ever feel like the emotions of your circumstances would swallow you whole, leaving only an empty carcass of pain and defeat? I have been there with you my friend! I have encountered the gates of hell first hand, and am here to say that the darkness will not destroy you, nor will it consume you! I am living proof that there is hope! There is light amidst even the darkest times of your life. There is love even when you don’t love yourself and you feel as though love is nonexistent. I am here to tell you that there is release from the darkness and pain, and it is found in The Lord!

God will never leave you nor forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6-8)! He is your light in a world of darkness (John 8:12, 12:46). He is your hope in those desperate times where everything seems to confuse and overwhelm (Romans 15:13, psalm 42:8). He is your strength when you just can’t go any more; when you just feel like you would be better off dead. God is there to lift you from the mire of your own sin (Psalm 40:2). He is there to pull you out of the pit of shame, guilt, and ambivalence.

All you need do is cry out (Psalm 34:17, Isaiah 19:20)! Release your tears, your heartache, your pain. Surrender them to God and know that he collects them all, seeks revenge for wrongs done to you, forgives you for your own sins, and brings the hope and promise of a future filled with peace, comfort, hope, and salvation!

May you know you are not alone in your journey! All my love ❤

“Why are you like a man dismayed,
like a mighty man who cannot save?
Yet you are in our midst, O LORD,
and we are called by your name; do not forsake us!”
~ Jeremiah 14:9

Merely Existent

Moving in slow motion
Life is taking its grueling toll
Leaving me feeling empty
Devoid of true happiness and peace

What do I face each day for
Only to be struck down
Beyond the anger, past the hurt
The emotions continually stupefy me

Why am I so lost
Confused as to who I am
What I want in life
What I expect from God

Each day seems so different
The expectations so unique
My existence like vapor
The hunger for something more haunts me

Longing to live passionately
Fearing to face reality
The thoughts anger me
Cause conflict deep in my soul

Resentment pulsing through my veins
Shattering the life I clung to
Sadness fills my heart
Casting its shadow on my joy

Self condemnation destroys my hope
Beckoning me towards the pit of hell
The emotional lion devours my very breath
Leaving only tortured remains

The Soul’s Struggle

For whatever things were written before were written for our learning,
that we through the patience and comfort of scripture might have hope. ~ Romans 15:4

The Soul’s Struggle

Lying in a sea of lies
What to do
Stand and wait
Wait for what
Answers from God of course
A friendly voice to lead me on
But is it God I hear
Or does evil deceive
The difference seems so slight
Snares of Satan well disguised
A wolf in sheep’s clothing
Patiently he waits
Pouncing at the perfect time
Preying on weakness, fears, and doubt
Devouring the light
Uncertainty rules the moment
The struggle for the soul continues

In this life there are many obstacles. Some are easy to overcome, like what to have for dinner, or how to complete a project at work. Other obstacles are more difficult, such as which job offer to accept, or how to spend or invest money in the wisest way. Still other obstacles cause much heartache and confusion, especially those focused around the emotions of the heart, such as direction in an adulterous marriage with someone you love, clarity in how to best deal with a rude and disrespectful teen, yet still show them how much you love them, or what to do and where to turn when you are experiencing abuse.

God is always there, guiding you through the storms of life, helping you with the direction to go, giving you courage to do what needs to be done, and providing endurance and strength to get you there. However, another force is at play in this fallen world…Satan…and he seeks to draw you away from the only One that can help you most…God. He uses your fear, worry, doubt, weaknesses, and insecurities to cause you to lose sight of God and all His hope, comfort, guidance, and love. Satan knows that if he hollers loud enough, you will hear him and many times make poor choices because of it. This is the plight of the soul! The struggle between flesh and spirit! The war that rages between light and dark!

1 Peter 5:8 reminds us that Satan is always on the lookout, waiting to devour us, to destroy us. “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” In our flesh it is easy to listen and heed the voice of Satan. Have you ever heard the whispers of doubt, shame, anger, bitterness, or arrogance in your head?

You will never be able to get out of this abusive relationship because you have no where to go, no one else who will love you.

How could you think you are smart enough to go back to school or apply for that job, just give up?

You are so ugly, no one will love you, stop trying?

You are not strong enough to lose the weight, so why bother?

You are a horrible person to talk to your kids that way, what kind of mother/father are you?

You should never forgive that person for what they did to you, stay angry, get revenge, you deserve it.

You can never be good enough for God so don’t bother trying.

Satan’s bantering on the heart and mind has a way of wearing you down, causing you to see only the dark parts of who you are, the weak flesh. He wants to tear you down and destroy you, so your soul remains bitter and lost. He seeks nothing more than the opposite of God–he wants you to remain dead, separated from God and His love. It is so easy to listen to the negativity in your mind; so easy to believe the lies than the truth of who you really are!

What is that truth? You are a child of God. You have a future filled with hope, glory, and righteousness. God has other plans, despite Satan’s intentions. God wants to encourage you, build you up, give you strength, provide comfort, give clarity and directions, bring hope and joy. He wants to shelter you in the shadow of His wing, finishing all the work He has begun in your heart.

When you feel lost and afraid. When you feel like your life just isn’t worth it and you would rather die than live. When you feel like all hope is gone and you can’t go on anymore. That is when you have to reach up toward the heavens and start listening to the truth of God. Here are some scriptures to help you begin your  journey of truth!

1. You are God’s child!

John 1:12 Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God

1 John 3:1-3 See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. All who have this hope in him purify themselves, just as he is pure.•

2. You have been chosen by God!

Ephesians 1:3-8 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding.

3. You have been forgiven of all your sins, freed from condemnation!

Colossians 1:13-14 For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

Romans 8:1-2 Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death.

Romans 8:31-39 What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died more than that, who was raised to life is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughter” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

4. God is working for your good in all things, to bring you hope and a future!

Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

5. God will provide for you!

Matthew 6:25-27 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life ?

Philippians 4:19 And my God will supply all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.

2 Corinthians 9:8 And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things, at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.

6. God and His love will be with you always (no matter how you feel or what you have done)!

Deuteronomy 31:8 The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

Psalm 27:10 Though your father and mother forsake you, the Lord will receive you.

Psalm 136:26 Give thanks to the God of Heaven. His love endures forever.

7. God created you on purpose for a purpose!

Ephesians 2:10 For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

8. You can come to God with freedom and confidence!

Ephesians 3:12 In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence.

Hebrews 4:16 Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

9. You can do all things with Christ!

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.

2 Timothy 1:7 For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.

10. You are a new creation in Christ (your past forgotten, your future new and bright)

2 Corinthians 5:1 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! For whatever things were written before were written for our learning, that we through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope.

11. You are an overcomer!

Romans 8:37-39 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, not angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Remember, there will always be battles between good and evil, right and wrong.  You may lose a few battles here and there, or you may have surrendered to the wrong or the evil at times, but you can win war with God at your side.  You can overcome!  You can hold tight to God’s truths!  You can trust He will bring you to the side of good and right every time!  You can rest in the knowledge that He has already won the war through the sacrifice of His Son on the Cross for you!  Reach up to God, cry out to your Lord, and let Him fight the struggle for your soul!

God bless and keep you, and know you are in my prayers!

Giving All!

Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in him and he will do this:
He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,
your vindication like the noonday sun.
Be still before the Lord
and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when people succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
do not fret—it leads only to evil.
For those who are evil will be destroyed,
but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land.
A little while, and the wicked will be no more;
though you look for them, they will not be found.
But the meek will inherit the land
and enjoy peace and prosperity.
~ Psalm 37:5-11

Giving All

No matter what plagues me
God is there always
Lifting me with His Spirit
Helping me make it through each day

He loves me unconditionally
Faults and all
He strengthens me through His power
When I stumble and fall

He gives me support
And peace of mind
Helping me make it through
The most difficult of times

He clears the way for peace
He stretches out His mighty arm
Casting those down
Who mean to cause me harm

He soothes my wounds
Touching my heart deep within
Toward His plan He confidently guides me
When I don’t know where to begin

Thank you God for showering me with Your love
For living in me
Thank you for leading the way
For offering more than I can see

To trust I must let go
Giving all I have to you
I lay my burdens at your feet
For you are my beacon true

You fill me with Your presence
When all seems lost you give me hope
Through You word and much prayer
You always help me cope

Thank you God for being there
For giving all You are
You offered You life for me
Taking my pain and scars

You are awesome Lord
Mighty, wonderful, and wise
I will give all I am to You
To obtain Your eternal prize

Old Meets New 9 ~ Just One More Day

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:33-34


Just One More Day

Struggling to exist
Heartache so intense
Praying for relief
Wishing it would all go away

Looking for the magic wand
If only it would work
Knowing it is not possible
But praying for relief anyway

Hurting hearts
Dying friends
Shattered lives
Loved ones gone astray

When will it end
When will the suffering stop
Not here, not now
But for sure someday

Seeking comfort from God above
Resting in Him
Asking for His strength
Help me face another day

Please dear Lord come home soon
Take the pain and misery
Heal the broken hurting hearts
Reveal the way

I need your comfort
Your healing touch oh Lord
If nothing else dear God
Please get me through just one more day

It is just one of those days where life just comes crashing in. Friends who are hurting, illness destroying those we love, and hearts being broken. We live life everyday with devastating events, circumstances that cut us to the core, and there just comes a point where we think we can’t handle one more thing or we will explode. It is in that moment, as the world comes crashing in around us that God just whispers how much he loves us. Amidst the screaming of life and the chaos around us, somehow, someway, God’s still, small voice settles in our heart and in our mind, reminding us that he does not give us more than we can handle and that we can indeed do all things through Christ who strengthens us. We are his children and it is he who protects us, guides us, and brings us out of life’s storms to see the wonderful rainbow they have produced.

Lord, I wait for that rainbow. I wait for the time when there will be no more pain, no more destruction, no more sorrow or illness. I wait for you Lord to bring me, and all of your children home to an eternal life filled with joy, comfort, and everlasting peace. Until then, just get me through one more day.

All my love to those who are struggling, those who are suffering, and those who are hurting. I pray the peace of God surrounds you, the beauty of his love encompasses you, and his grace fills you to overflowing. Blessings in God’s love.

Tears May Fall

It is funny how God works! He takes something, be it a scripture address, a word, a moment, a vision, a dream—whatever he desires to use—and leads me down a path that enlightens and strengthens. As I was showering this morning, Job 2:10 kept echoing in my mind, so I figured that when I met with God today I would indeed look that up, and thus I did.

Job 2:10 He replied, “You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?”

This was Job’s response to his wife’s encouragement to “curse God and die” when he became afflicted with painful sores from the soles of his feet to the top of his head. He had already lost his family, his servants, his livestock, his home, though in all the pain and the suffering, he did not sin. Wow, talk about a man after God’s own heart! Oh to be that strong and face adversity or difficult decisions head on with complete trust and faith in God.

As I sat pondering what the Lord was leading me to take from this passage, I prayed. I was inspired by worship music that faded into the background as my focus shifted solely to my God. I cried out, seeking His will, His message for my heart, His desire for my life. The more I cried, the more I humbled myself and sought forgiveness and a pure heart from this almighty, all-consuming God I so delightfully call Father! I wanted so desperately in that moment to bury myself at the Cross, to lie at Christ’s feet and let the world pass away. The more I lay there, pouring out my heart and soul, the more my sinfulness was revealed, my weaknesses unveiled, my heart torn. In that moment, I felt the power of God surge, the beauty of Christ’s sacrifice cover me, the strongholds of my heart gone, faded in an intense meeting with the Creator of the Universe, The One True God who is the only one who knows me—even more than I know myself.

I arose and examined Job 2:10 harder, with clearer eyes and a cleaner heart—the words grew and echoed in my thoughts and then I began to search deeper, seeking more! God led me to realize that life is not easy, that I live in fear because I don’t want to hurt others, I don’t want to inflict pain, or bring suffering in any way. I wept, my heart and deepest fears exposed. Laying prone on the floor, Romans 8:26-27, 2 Timothy 1:7, and Philippians 4:13 came to my heart.

Romans 8:26-27 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will. And we know that in all things God works the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Job was in immense pain, he had lost everything—his sons and daughters were killed, his livestock was destroyed, his servants were killed, his home destroyed. Now his health was gone and his wife was leaving. He had nothing, yet he mustered the strength to accept this all from God; that it was His will, His plan for his life. He didn’t blame God or turn His back on God. No, he stood up for His God, having faith that God was indeed in control, despite how he felt.

Job had to confront his wife and then he had to confront his friends who had blamed Job’s sin for his destruction. Job cried out. He prayed from the heart. He laid his emotions, his feelings—anger, pain, misery, confusion—all of it was cast upon the Lord. But still, amidst the encouragement to curse God from his friends and his wife, he stood his ground. He would rather have not been born than to curse God. He was devoted to God and trusted God’s plan for life, even if it meant death.

Trusting is often hard to do, especially in face of adversity or difficulties. It is when the rubber meets the road that fear or worry can set in. It is when we face the toughest of challenges that Satan worms his way in trying to deter and confuse. It is in the darkest tests of life that we have to rise above, cast Satan back in the name of Jesus, and seek even harder God’s plan for our lives.

2 Timothy 1:7 For God did not give us the spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, and love and of self-discipline.

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Standing for what God is and what His plans are for our lives, even though we may not know the direction or the reason why, takes great courage. Job stepped out on faith, had courage that God would do what he had to do and that there was meaning and purpose behind it. Do we have that courage? Are we strong enough to face adversity head on and work through the pain and suffering to meet God in a better place? Do we have the self-discipline and love to speak the truth, even when it is hard? Do we have the strength to do what God calls us to do?

In our weakness, he is strong!

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Job was weak indeed. He was broken, torn, battered, beat down. His heart was downcast. His body was destroyed. His emotions were devastated. His life was in ruins, yet he stood in the shadow of God and realized that through it all, he was still God’s child. He was faithful and trusted that God was still with him through all the pain, all the suffering, all the torment. He didn’t know why God was doing, or allowing, these life-shattering things into his life, but he knew his God! He knew his God had plans. He humbled himself before the Lord! He persevered! He stood on the promises of God! He was made stronger and more perfect through his weaknesses!

Job did not let fear keep him from confronting his wife. He did not let worry keep him from stating the truth to his friends. He did not let his own flesh get in the way of God’s design for his life. He was willing to die, trusting that God had him! That is not to say that he did not experience a plethora of emotions or struggle with his faith. It simply means that he knew God. He knew that his faith in God–even in miniscule amounts–did not guarantee he would not have troubles in this life. He knew that God allowed suffering for reasons beyond understanding. He knew that God was always there, even amidst the darkest times, the toughest trials, and the hardest decisions.  Job stood his ground, held tight to God amidst the storm that was sinking his ship, and he prospered because of it.  He was blessed more than he could have imagined!

1 John 5:14-15 This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.

1 John 3:21 Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God and receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him.

I want to stand strong in the Lord. I want to do his will and not my own. I may not understand, nor may I ever understand, His ways, but much like Job, I know that he has designed for me every day of my life, from the day I was born to the day I die. He knows my heart and my desires even better than I. He knows that I will fall, I will sin, I will make poor choices. He knows that I will take alternate paths, deter from his plan for me, and run defiantly the other direction at times. But through it all, I know He will hold me, He will guide me, He will give me strength and courage to be bold in my love. He will give me direction—if I listen—that will lead me to eternal glory. Just as He gave His Son so that I can live, I give my life so He can live! I die to my desires, to my wants, to my flesh. I die so that He may live! Your will God, not my own!

I pray for your strength and wisdom to speak Your words. I know that you are in control and that you have plans for my life that I do not know. You are in control of my future and the futures of those lives I touch every day.  You have nothing but plans to prosper your children and bring them hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).  When we ask Lord God, You give!  I ask that you give me clarity and discernment; that You give me bold love and words to speak; that You give me a Spirit of power, love and self-control.  Let my words be Yours, let my actions be Yours, let my heart be Yours, and my life Father God, let it be Yours.


But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. –2 Corinthians 12:9

Tears May Fall

In weakness God is strong
Constantly leading the way
Seek, ask, knock
Know that He is there
He is holding you right now
Life is life
Nothing easy
Everything filled with battles
Flesh and soul
Eternal and earthly
Wars rage on
Sometimes to be free
We have to let go
Surrender to God
Give it all
Our wants, our desires
Our fears, our pain
We must die
So that we may live
Tears will fall
Hearts will be torn
God will mend
His love will fill the void
Building, strengthening
Making us better than before
Guide us
Search us
Confront our selfish ways
Lead us in Your way everlasting
Bring us to where You are

Among the Walking Dead

When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature.
God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins,
having canceled the written code, with its regulations,
that was against us and that stood opposed to us;
He took it away, nailing it to the cross. –Colossians 2:13-14

Among the Walking Dead

We live among the walking dead
Blinded eyes to life and love
Hardened hearts for the things above
They are the living dead

Seeking the destruction of life
Starving souls devouring hope
Darkened minds on a slippery slope
A meager existence where sinfulness is rife

Amongst the dead the living roam
Open eyes to truth and light
Softened hearts abounding with life
They are waiting for their final home

Seeking love and righteousness
Souls overflowing with joy and peace
Illuminated minds fully released
A rich journey filled with God’s holiness

Reach out to the walking dead
Bring them home to something more
Show them the glory that is in store
Give them the gift of eternal life instead